Rebirth

Remember when the greatest gift you could bestow upon your friends was a hand-picked compilation cassette? The message was in the music. I made a million of those for anyone who would take ‘em. They were a gift from my heart. I was lucky enough to have received a few too. On one such tape, was a song I had never heard before: Cat Stevens’ Wild World. I thought the song was an unusual choice for me, as was not my style. I was a new wave/alternative music girl, not a flower-in-my-hair folk rock fiend. The odd selection did stop me, piquing my interest in what it was saying. All mix-tapes come with an intended message, this one was received towards the end of my college years; it was a “good bye and good luck” musical note. Despite the condescending lyrics (“It’s hard to get by just upon a smile”), I found it empowering. It made me believe that if I worked hard and watched out for myself, I could make it.

I thought it would be the perfect theme song for my blog’s rebirth. You see, beginning today, I am off on a series of new adventures, following my dreams. Wild World has always inspired me to “go for it,” and this is a year when I shall realize many of the goals that I have “gone for.”

I’m writing this note on a plane bound for Paris. I’ve had a fortunate life; this is my, what?, fifth time to The City of Light. Paris is the place in which I first saw the world. My eyes were opened up to possibilities and new cultures, as I sweated my way through the Louvre and finickly ate across a cuisine I had no appreciation for (at the time). Paris changed me. I’ve traveled often since. I have visited old and made new friends around the globe. I’m on a mission for the next 20 days to make even more. Literally. I was a last minute replacement to lead a People to People delegation to France, Italy and Greece. Tough job sharing Eisenhower’s vision of spreading peace around the world.

I wept a little as I left this morning. This trip is the first in a whirlwind of change currently going on in my life. I don’t do gradual shifts, I do earthquake size alterations. In addition to leaving my husband and kids behind to lead a bunch of strange teenagers around for the next month, I will be starting a new job in the fall, and leaving for Argentina in the spring.

I will be teaching 9th grade basic communications at North Platte High School. I feel like I have a wealth of practical experience I can contribute to the students’ learning, but it’s a little distressing to leave the comfort of my old classroom and curriculum.

I also received a Fulbright Distinguished Teacher Award. The official notification came in the mail this week. I will fulfill a lifelong dream of living abroad when I temporarily move to Argentina in 2012. Like all good resumes and grant applications, I might have beefed up my Spanish speaking skills. I will be sharing my knowledge of integrating technology into daily lessons. I’m excited to work with the teachers, but am panic-stricken thinking about how no one may actually learn anything from me because I will be talking like a 2-year-old. I know I will learn to comfortably speak Spanish, but my confianza is very low ahora. Yet… this is Part II of the goal, I want to be fluent in another language.

I am, in effect, setting myself up for failure in order to succeed. It sorta makes me want to vomit. And, it’s this pukey feeling that I plan on sharing right here. Don’t worry; you’ll get some pleasant ones too.

I have some new rules and hopes for this blog:
• I hope you respond. Please write back, especially when I’m abroad.
• You get the real me, and the real me likes to curse just a little bit. Brace yourself.
• This is my view of the world. Despite being highly opinionated, I don’t like to argue and won’t engage in any politic discussions.
• That said, my memories might be off. Remember that game of “telephone” where everyone’s message was a little off. This might turn out to be the virtual version of that.
• There will probably be typos and poor grammar. I will correct them as I find them and you can message me if you see them, but expect them. I want to consistently write, but I’m a perfectionist. Sometimes I can get caught up in the editing and not the writing (which is the goal).
• This used to be my classroom blog; it’s not anymore. I hate to trash all of my writing and like that the URL includes my name. I may change my mind later, but for now, I’m just going to hide the previous posts.

I have always enjoyed writing about small moments in my life that affect me. I want to share a bit of me and my slant of the world with you through this journal. I hope you enjoy it.